blue horizon

When you ain’t got a family
And you ain’t got a home
All you can do is just roam roam roam

Into the wilderness
Feeling so wild
Searching and seeking

An abandoned child

Be strong, they say
You’re strong, they say
You’ll make it through

Fact of it is, it’s hard when it’s just you

I look to the sky
Love that clear blue horizon
Especially when I’m standing on top of a mountain

So I search and I seek
For what? you say
Love, just plain old love, a blue horizon away

Nichole Hastings

A Comedy of Errors – Act 1

Written at 3:03am on June 20, 2010.

I left Maidie’s graduation party around 11:30pm. I wasn’t feeling well. I was tired and wanted to go to bed. My stomach has been upset since I got off the 100 Mile Wilderness. I don’t ever discuss such things because I find it so disgusting but I have been passing the smelliest gas and the bowel movements…urg.  It’s tough adjusting from the trail diet to the rich and fatty foods of the regular American diet.  And a dinner of veggie burgers, sauteed onions dripping in oil and a very wet mayonnaisey macaroni salad was not sitting well on the stomach.

When I get into Hanover, on my way to Lebanon, I start to feel very anxious. A reaction I have when I feel unwell. I feel like I’m going to pass out. I have gas and the smell of it is making me nauseous. I feel like I may throw up.

I pull Barb and Steve Teeter’s Odyssey into a parking spot. I sit there with the anxiety of the situation rolling over me in waves. I break out into a body sweat, I have tunnel vision, I feel like I’m going to pass out. I don’t know how long I sat there suffering this reaction to pass.

The car door opens and an African American gentleman wearing a lanyard and tag around his neck looks in. He tells me that there are three cops standing nearby and he overheard them saying they were going to “bust her” when I started the car. He said that he’s a lawyer. He suggested that I take a cab ride home or get out of the driver’s seat, remove the keys from the ignition and sleep for a little while. I take his suggestions but I have no money for a cab. I’m too embarrassed to talk about my stomach issues and the passing of gas. He closes the door.

I get into the back of the vehicle to lay down and wait for this attack to pass. The hot flash has passed and the sweat chills my body. I am laying on my side with my back to the door on the floor with Maxwell. I hear the door behind me open. I look up to see a flashlight and the faces of two police officers peering in. They tell me that a man came up to them and told them I was intoxicated and worried that I may try to drive myself home. I tell them I am fine, just not feeling well and am taking respite. They tell me I cannot stay there. I ask them if there is a curfew or a time limit on the parking space I’m occupying. They repeat, saying I cannot stay there and continue on to tell me I can’t stay there because I am intoxicated. They then go on to say that they are taking me into protective custody. I tell them I don’t need protection. I need rest.

The officers grab my arms and pull me out of the vehicle. They handcuff me, hands behind the back. I tell them I want to call my lawyer and they grab my cell phone, tearing it out of my hands. They hold my upper arms high up, hurting me and walk me across the street in front of 100 or so people gathered for some event under tents, as if I’m a violent criminal. I call out asking them during this entire process, “What am I being charged with?” The officers say once or twice that I’m not being charged with anything. They say I’m not being arrested. They’re placing me in protective custody.

I say repeatedly to all the bystanders, “These police officers have just accosted me, cuffed me and they won’t tell me what I am being charged with. Help! They assaulted me in my vehicle and apparently I’m not under arrest. I am handcuffed and I refuse to get into this police vehicle.”

http://creativetime.org/programs/archive/2007/sussman/welcome.html
Intervention of the Sabine Woman

A woman walking along the sidewalk, as well as many others stare at me and the officers. She slows and stands feet away listening to me refuse to get into the police vehicle and telling the officers that I would like to know why I am being treated this way. They keep saying I am intoxicated. Not once have they asked me why I was parked or even read me my rights.

The blond-haired officer keeps trying to push me forcibly into the police cruiser. I tell him that I am not getting in and that I would like to know why I am being treated this way. He tells me he is going to “spray” me if I don’t comply. The woman asks me what my name is during this struggle and the blond-haired officer says, “She’s nobody.” I tell the woman my name is Nichole Hastings. She repeats my name and says, “I’m a witness.” She asks me to please get into the vehicle, repeating that she is a witness. a dark complexioned man is standing less than ten feet away silently watching.

I sit down on the edge of the back seat, my legs and feet blocking the door from shutting. The dark-haired officer opens the other back seat door. The blond officer tells the dark-haired one to “Grab her and pull her in.” I turn and look the dark-haired officer dead in the eye and tell him, “Don’t touch me.” He hesitates in reaching for me. I turn, pull my legs in and sit in the back of the cruiser. They shut the doors. I sit there. Bewildered.

Footnote:

AMERICANS WITH DISABILITIES ACT OF 1990
[(2) Specific prohibitions
(A) Discrimination
For purposes of subsection (a) of this section, discrimination includes
(i) the imposition or application of eligibility criteria that screen out or tend to screen out an individual with a disability or any class of individuals with disabilities from fully and equally enjoying any goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages, or accommodations, unless such criteria can be shown to be necessary for the provision of the goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages, or accommodations being offered;]

Journal Entry: May 29, 2010 – The Pre-Hike – Part 1

“Some things were meant to be.”

A plan may seem perfect but until you put it into action you’ll never really know.  The night before, the plan…packed by early evening, then relax watching the Celtics play the Magic.  At game start, I was still packing or re-packing I should say.  At half-time, I’m re-packing again.  The Celtics are playing well.  The game ends.  We’ve won.  I’m re-packing AGAIN.  At 12:30am, I stuff all the strewn items around me into the pack and call it quits.  I’m too tired to go on.  Tomorrow is an early morning and I need to get to bed.

5:33am.  I wake up.  The alarm did not go off.  I reach for my cell phone, half awake and give my friend Jeff a wake-up call.  He’s already up and heading out the door soon.  He estimated rolling into Lebanon to pick me up around 7:00am.  I decide to roll back over and go to sleep.  It is only 5:35am in the morning and that means another hour could be gotten between now and then.

6:38am.  I get out of bed.  Get dressed.  I head downstairs too focused to do anything but bring all my gear out to the side porch.  I have no interest in breakfast.  Jeff calls and says he’s made better time coming from Keene and he’ll be there shortly.  I pour myself a third of a cup of coffee, black, while talking to Barb who has just gotten out of bed and made it.  Steve has just come downstairs and is stepping into the shower.  A couple of minutes later Jeff rolls into the driveway and I gulp the hot coffee down and give Barb a hug good-bye.  I put my pack in Jeff’s car trunk while running through a mental checklist.  Jeff comes around the trunk and hands me a first aid and survival kit.  The first aid kit is a complete compact unit that could hang on the belt.  One of those $50 items I looked at and said, “Fifty dollars.  Ummm, no.”  the survival kit has a tiny compass, fishing tackle and line, fire starting materials and an emergency blanket.  He also gives me a super absorbent towel.

We get in the car and I tell Jeff we should go.  I already had said good-bye to Barb, Steve is in the shower and I’m not interested in a lengthy or emotional parting of ways.  Plus, Katahdin is almost a six-hour drive away in Maine. There is no direct route there and I had planned getting there by 2:00pm.

The drive is uneventful.  Jeff and I talk about this and that.  Maxwell is quiet as a mouse, curled up into a ball on the floor at my feet.  He has always traveled well.  He’s so quiet it’s easy to forget that he’s even there.  We reach Millinocket, the town closest to the southern entrance of Baxter State Park.  Jeff points out the paper mill he works with.  He drives up a few times a year to do work at the mill and is familiar with the area as a result.  As we head West, around a bend and on a decline, I get my first view of Katahdin.  It appears suddenly in the view, perfectly framed by tall trees on either side of the road, the blue sky above and the dark recently redone surface of the pavement and yellow lines below.  It takes my breath away.  It seems almost a mirage and wavers slightly, almost seeming to jump back as we drive towards it.

Katahdin is a 5000-footer.  A steep and jutting rocky rise.  I can see the belts of snow at the top running vertically at the top, like the claw marks of a cat.  It dominates my vision, both captivating and terrifying to behold.  I have that feeling I imagine some music performers have before going on stage for concert.  The jitters.  Nerves.  Butterflies.  My stomach churns and I have a vague yet fleeting moment of nausea.  It is the end for most thru-hikers but it is just the beginning for me.

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