Why Ice Cube Got It Right When He Said Women Are Bitches, Hoes and Tricks

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Over a month has gone by since I ended my relationship with my boyfriend and kicked him out of the apartment here in Madrid Spain. I thank myself everyday for having the wisdom to move to a foreign country for more than a relationship. So while the boyfriend has now since disappeared (actually still in process because most of his stuff is still here) I have many reasons beyond him to stay where I am.

Three and a half years ago I knew I wanted to change my life. I was halfway through my five-year plan to reside in Norwich Vermont and add stability to my life by working a desk proper desk job when an idea came to me to combine travel, living abroad and gong back to my passion. And I always knew I would not stay in Vermont beyond the five years.

I enjoyed living the village life, my accounting jobs were great, and I had many wonderful people in my life but the wanderlust and desire to do something creative again kept coming back. Each year the feeling returned, it came back stronger. So I tried a few things to satisfy the craving. I drove cross country with a friend, put my head down and dug in deeper at work, published a book of poetry, went to NYC as often as I could, and found pleasure in gatherings with friends. I tried out different romantic relationships but things didn’t work out.

Alas! My desire to change my life, to pursue my dreams would not leave me be.

On April 1, 2014 my life changed. I had just published my book of poems the day before and was attending a friend’s reading and I met someone. We had great political and philosophical conversations. We laughed when we realised we went to the same high school. He was a musician and I love live music. He said he was back from Spain for a while and didn’t really know anyone in the area. So I invited him to go with me to an Open Mic at one of my favourite spots in the world Skunk Hollow Tavern in Hartland, Vermont. I was meeting girl friends there and he said he’d invite some friends too.

The next evening, while sitting at Skunk, getting messages from friends that they were unable to make it, and his friends bailed too, I thought to myself…is this a date? It seemed eerily like one and well, it was. We went out to a movie after that and the rest is history, or rather, a story for a different time.

So fast forward about a year and half to now, here I am sitting in my apartment alone here in Madrid writing this. I’ve been reflecting all week on the fact that a girl who called herself my “friend” was never one. Maybe in her mind I was somehow her friend but she completely fooled me.

I met this “girl friend” while visiting my friend in NYC. My friend and I had met at a mutual friend’s party in Vermont when he was up from Brooklyn for it. And again met up later when he and another friend came to a poetry reading I did last fall for about a hundred people opening for Jim Rooney. My friend and I spoke again in January. I was headed to NYC with the boyfriend to attend a costume party on a super yacht that would launch from Pier 40. My friend was overjoyed to offer me a place to crash for the night with him and his new girlfriend. We talked on the phone and he was speaking so quickly I could hardly get a word in as he went on about how wonderful she is. Clearly my friend was in love. I was happy for my friend. The excitement in his voice. The joy. I couldn’t wait to meet this girl who had so transformed him.

The first evening all four of us met was lovely. We had a wonderful morning together the next day before the yacht party. My friend’s girlfriend was sweet, kind, generous, and friendly. I could see why my friend was so in love with her. They were very cute together.

That evening, after we returned from he yacht party, my friend’s girlfriend strutted around in front of my boyfriend in her underwear. At the time I thought nothing of her nudity or being scantily clad. I’ve been at many a gathering where someone decided to take off all their clothes and go for a swim, lounge about, etc. But as the evening progressed, she could see that my boyfriend was getting turned on and she kept the ball rolling. My boyfriend and I drove back to Vermont the next day, and that really was the start of my romantic relationship starting to fracture and fall apart. I can see it all now in hindsight.

My boyfriend and I were already in an open relationship and had been for some months. Unfortunately men always seem to forget that an open relationship is a two-way street. So when opportunities arose for me to have something or spend time with others, he did not like it. Our rules were, no sex with each other’s friends and don’t bring it home. But after that trip down to NYC, he began to complain constantly about how much easier women have in hooking up than men do. That the situation was unfair because the only attractive women he knew were my friends. And that he was inhibited because we spent so much time together (he called me daily and wanted to hang out constantly) so I always encouraged him to go out separately without me. But he didn’t.

Obviously my boyfriend and I stayed together. We came to Spain in April of this year. Our desire to continue having an open relationship remained. But his complaints and supposed “restrictions” that prevented him from meeting someone else to have sex with did also. Nothing changed, for him. Other than after that trip down to the city, and the subsequent farewell party the weekend before we left, my boyfriend and my friend’s girlfriend started emailing each other.

How often? I don’t know. About what? I couldn’t say. But as time marched on, they began to talk more and more frequently. I know that some of the talk was about sex, because they both mentioned it to me, but friends do discuss the topic of sex. And trusting as I am in other people, my boyfriend and girl friend, I thought nothing of it.

So all the while this girl is calling me “friend”. And I was there for her as a “girl friend” when she said her relationship with my friend, her boyfriend was falling apart. She wanted to see other people but he wanted a monogamous relationship. She complained about him not getting his life together fast enough after he followed her to San Francisco from New York City. She works for a pharmaceutical company and he is an artist. She moved out there for a job.

I sent messages to my friend asking him how he was doing because surely, this must all be very difficult for him. I didn’t hear any response back so I figured he was doing what I do when I have issues with someone: discussing them with the person one is having an issue with.

Then one day my friend’s girlfriend said to me that she had moved out their apartment and into a new one. She was leaving him but she told him she was just moving into a new place and that he would move in later when the lease on that one finished. My friend advice to her was to tell him immediately that the relationship is over so that he is no longer living under a false pretense that you and he have something. She said “You’re right,” and “I will.” She also said she felt guilty about the situation so she was paying for his cell phone.

Then a few days more went by and my friend’s now ex-girlfriend said to me that she was getting sick of paying for his cell phone. She was going to let him know she was turning it off and he was being unreasonable about giving her back her things. I said that was fair, giving him notice, and surely he would return her belongings. Around that same time my boyfriend asked me if it would be okay if she came to visit and stay with us in Spain around Thanksgiving. Of course, I said “Yes”. My door is always open to friends. But then I spoke with my friend and we had a long talk where I got to hear his side of the story. I asked about the cell phone and he said it had been turned off a couple of weeks ago. And that she had been refusing to communicate with him.

A couple weeks later, I told her that I kicked my boyfriend out of the apartment after he hit me and I had broken up with him. She said she was surprised to hear this but then thinking back to many of our conversations, she had often confessed to slapping her boyfriend, my friend. I had told her violence is wrong. And to broach the topic and get it settled, I said that if she planned on coming here and having sex with my now ex-boyfriend it would be better if she stayed with him or in a hotel. She said that she had no plans to have sex with my ex-boyfriend, that she was in love with some other guy, and had decided not to come to Spain after all (huge relief for me). She also made it clear she planned to remain friends with my ex.

A week ago, my ex-boyfriend made an off-hand comment, “(my so-called now ex-girl friend) said, what do I have that Nichole doesn’t have?”

A lightbulb exploded.

And I realised that this girl was not my friend. She had never been my friend. I’m not saying she’s responsible for the demise of my relationship but she was part of the problem. The unintentional gift she gave me was a burst of creative inspiration which resulted in a poem called “False Friend”. And when her WhatsApp message arrived a few days ago saying “Hi Nichole! How are you?” I side-swiped left and hit “Archive”.

Yesterday my ex-boyfriend came by to pick up a couple things from the apartment. I fed him breakfast and we talked for a while. Because while the violence he did to me is wrong, I am a forgiving person who thinks that people can learn, grow and change. But in the course of conversation, he told me he had shared my poem with my now ex-girl friend and she said it was “cute”. And she wrote a poem in response to mine and had asked him if he should send it to me. She also said to him that I had always tried to “cock-block” my ex from having sexual relationships with other women in our open relationship.

My thoughts are as follows: that saved me the trouble of sending the poem to her which is another item off my busy To Do list, they’re still talking about whatever, she’s still stirring the pot, her response poem is her trying to impress and relate to my ex with her “poetic skills” otherwise she would have just sent it to me directly, and she is absolutely not a friend nor a person who I ever care to associate while she exists in her current state of being. And her description of my poem as “cute” is a way of snarkily trying to invalidate, minimise and gloss over her underhanded BS way of supposedly being someone’s friend.

So, yes, Ice Cube got it right when he said women are bitches, hoes and tricks. Of course there are exceptions. Not every woman is any one or all of those. And men can be all of those too. But sometimes you meet a false girl friend who is just clueless about how to truly be someone’s “friend” and pretends to be yours because she really has no idea who she is or what her values are. Thus, you may talk to her, giving friend advice, about why she has shallow and superficial friendships when she brings it up, but as long as she is ignorant of her behaviour, she will remain the architect of that very poor design and will never be a true friend to herself or others.

The fact is, females (and people in general) who treat their so-called “friends” in unfriendly ways give the title “friend” a false meaning. Some of you may be saying that there were multiple indications that my ex-girl friend and my ex-boyfriend were not my friends. But I say, “My greatest asset and biggest flaw is my belief in the goodness of people.”

My mother once said that I am naive because I give people too much credit. Perhaps I am. But I’m okay with that.

I believe that people will make the right choices and do the right thing if given the chance. So I’d rather give people the benefit of the doubt to step up because it’s not me who’s losing out when someone decides to be petty and underhanded; It’s their loss….of my friendship and the opportunity to be a better version of themselves.

So what’s the lesson in all of this?

Don’t be a bitch, a hoe or a trick and you may find that you have a deeper, more meaningful and authentic relationship with oneself and with others.

The Perils of Feminism, Subjective Reasoning, and Dualism

I am not a Feminist. I am not a proponent of Feminism. My refusal to identify as one usually draws a strong emotional reaction from other women – a reaction of indignation.

Women that identify as feminists have berated me, given me historical lectures, and glared down their noses at me with outright disdain. Some might assume it’s because I’m of Asian descent, supposedly submissive to the whims of men. My boyfriend was at an intercambio (a language exchange) recently when three women confronted him with this very stereotype. I’ll quote his response: “My girlfriend is Asian, and she is definitely NOT submissive!”

I do not identify with contemporary Feminists because contemporary Feminism is illogical, and as a contemporary social movement it fights for nothing worthwhile. Feminists have become advocates for bad health, victimhood, “Rape Culture”, and conformity. They are quick to pounce on any who point out that being obese is unhealthy – a reality-denying stance they call “Fat Acceptance”. Any man who dares state a sexual preference for non-overweight women instantly becomes a target to be shamed. Does this mean that any woman who expresses her preference for an athletic man with a six-pack is also sexist? Is a woman who has consensual sex, but later decides to reclassify the experience after feeling regret, really a victim of rape?

The answer is no. And no.

And as for conformity, their seems to be an expectation for women to support the movement, or be dismissed as hapless victims of The Patriarchy. Men who fail to hop aboard the bandwagon are labelled “misogynist”, “narcissist”, or another pejorative.

Will some Feminists attack me and my reputation online via social media? Will the so-called leaders of the more radical Feminist wing sic their followers on me? Will some resort to name-calling, repudiate and dismiss my words in attempts to squash any dissension from or criticism of Feminism?

Perhaps.

When high-profile females have questioned or defied Feminist orthodoxy, we have seen the outrage they are met with. Feminist pundits are incensed and thirst for blood, demanding all dissent be squashed and all dissenters (especially women) be punished and met with shame for their crimes against “the sisterhood”. All must tremble before the altar of Feminism and despair!

Perhaps I am not even worth the standard treatment. I hold no position of so-called authority, am taking a sabbatical from work, and recently moved to Spain. I say, “Here kitty kitty. Come get some.” Why?

I’m outraged by Feminists’ ridiculous behavior, their moral superiority, and I find their justifications absurd.

When did contemporary Feminism become about the glorification of women, the demonization and subjugation of men, and the reactionary shaming of any who disagree? Why are modern Feminists behaving no differently than sexist men? Why do Feminists display such narcissism and open prejudice against males?

The absurdity that is modern Feminism is not completely their own fault. Society and culture have taken the pea out from under the mattress without considering how pampering demanding Princesses turns them into spoiled and selfish Queens. When you reflexively give in to others’ whims, they will only take your appeasement for granted, unrelenting in their demands for more. Unfortunately, women are taught to rely upon their emotions instead of logic to deal with challenges that arise. Women are told over and over that they are mere emotional creatures, and as a result they respond with subjective reasoning rather than objective logic.

Subjective reasoning is thought of by some as a feminine emotional way of rationalisation. I will refer to feminine emotional rationalisation as ‘subjective reasoning’. The central tenet of subjective reasoning is thus: the belief that the morality of an act stems not from its objective merits, but from the emotional feeling produced within the actor. So some women conclude that if it feels good, it is right. If it feels bad, it is wrong. And if it feels otherwise, they think “It’s probably right, but I’ll have to wait and see… because most likely it’s wrong.” They remain blissfully unaware of the contradiction. And men, of course, also use subjective reasoning, so this kind of flawed thinking is not gender-specific.

Is subjective reasoning Nature or Nurture? It is both, accompanied by the Pavlovian brainwashing of being told these things repeatedly. Subjective reasoning seems to dominate contemporary Feminist responses to everything they take issue with. Their use of ‘feelings’ to justify anything they say and do makes it hard for this logical female to take contemporary Feminism seriously. Contemporary Feminism condones sexist attitudes, thoughts and behaviors. Contemporary Feminists dehumanize, subjugate and objectify heterosexual men.

What if Masculinism were to become a social movement?

Feminists would be apoplectic. They would cynically shriek about the male evils supposedly perpetrated against womankind for millenia. One can only imagine the shrill note they would strike as they warned of the dire consequences a male empowerment movement would bring.

What, what?

Contemporary Feminists already rail against empowered men, whom they refer to as the dreaded Patriarchy. But how is it fair, or helpful to anyone, when Feminists blatantly commit the same sins they have for so long intoned against? ‘Two wrongs don’t make a right’, as the saying goes. Any position of moral authority is only undermined if the holder embraces an eye-for-an-eye stance of vengeance. Someone, somewhere, is reading my words and thinking “That poor misguided woman. Doesn’t she understand that men deserve this? The Patriarchy is evil! Look at how bad it makes women feel about themselves!”

The truth is, only -you- can make -you- feel bad about yourself.

Let’s recall those childhood sayings, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” and “I’m rubber and you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.” Feminists and people in general would be wise to remember this, instead of wasting so much energy striving to punish others, when we have only ourselves to blame. An outwardly projected emotional response of your feelings, in reaction to what others say and do, is completely illogical. You can’t control what others do, but you can control what you do. And I say, apart from defending yourself from physical violence, the best reaction is to practice tolerance and learn to react with indifference. Contemporary Feminists and their ridiculous man-hating statements, as well as sexist men and their equally ridiculous woman-hating statements, should be completely ignored. What both want is a reaction – any reaction will suffice. Do not react, encourage others to do the same, and those trolls lose their power eventually losing interest. Think of them as children who throw temper tantrums; any reaction will only encourage their behavior.

If you are sitting there composing a mental response that includes suffrage, women’s working rights, or female circumcision to prove why feelings should control what others say and do, please just stop. Those -were- real issues in the United States. Suffrage won women the right to vote, but how many women exercise that right today? Women now dominate work places, so how are they oppressed when they’re more likely to be hired than a man with similar credentials? And aren’t the days of Kellogg and his crackpot ideas of masturbation prevention for both sexes by circumcision now past? For women, yes. For men, genital mutilation is still widely practiced to this day, so who is really suffering from that injustice?

Today contemporary Feminists focus on first-world problems that are not true injustices. A man saying he prefers to date women who weighs under 120-lbs is a manufactured issue; he’s expressing a preference, just as women do when they say they want a man who’s not bald. Students feeling “uncomfortable” about a fellow student discussing current rape statistics – in a class about a Greek mythological figure that was raped – Did that student really deserve to be expelled from the class? Perhaps the offended students that complained should think twice about studying Greek Mythology and avoid it like the plague, because they’ll likely be further offended by how many times Zeus can’t keep it in his toga. Feminists want a different set of standards for female firefighters, but if a woman can’t carry a two-hundred pound man out of a burning building in a timely manner, she should choose a different profession. I don’t want the standards altered so women can feel better about themselves. Women in the military? The ones who want to be, are. On the front line? Does any sane person really want to be there?

I see contemporary man-hating Feminists as they are: sadly misguided, their perspective distorted by their own prejudices, their reactions perverted by fear. To them, a world with men is a terrifying place, fraught with danger and degradation. Today’s Feminist rage is a shrill cacophony that diminishes the entire movement.

Contemporary Feminists ought to stop complaining and attacking others, and instead do something that will truly make the world a better place for everyone. Sitting at a computer using social media to shame others, or blogging about how unjust the world is for women, is a far cry from taking meaningful action on issues that really matter. What can you do to help that starving homeless person you stepped over and ignored while tweeting/posting/blogging on your mobile phone? What can we do about the Bureau of Public Land Management selling off our public lands designated as wilderness to private corporations, intent on turning our natural resources into their own private profits? What can we do to remove the capitalistic bent out of education, healthcare and public services such as the U.S. Postal Service and improve upon them? What can each us do to treat others as we would like to be treated?

Blatant Feminist prejudice against and the persecution of heterosexual men are acceptable today, because women have been trained to reason emotionally and rationalise with their feelings. We must first recognise the problem with subjective reasoning – feelings are not synonymous with reality. With subjective reasoning, everything is personal, and feelings become the arbiters of debate. In discussions and arguments, contemporary Feminists commit doublethink – Orwell’s term for holding two contradictory statements to each be true. And contemporary Feminism seems to be stuck in a Junior High School mentality, while riding an emotional roller coaster called Vengeance Shall Be Hers.

Everyone agrees, sexist men and Feminists aside, the equality of the sexes is important. But the question should not be, “How do we make the sexes equal?” A question we should all ask ourselves is, “Do logic and emotion, have a gender?” Logic and emotion are present in all human beings, not merely in men or women. The tendency of a gender to favor one over the other is a general tendency, not an absolute one. But Feminists have presently eschewed objective logic in favor of subjective reasoning, and this style of rationalisation pervades U.S. culture and used as a tool, to influence the thought processes of many women.

Now subjective reasoning is used in almost every arena where objective logic is actually needed. This simple flaw in thinking leads to all kinds of injustices occurring daily throughout the United States. Take the example of a police officer shooting a black suspect, and justifying the deed by saying “I feared for my life.” The officer, appeals not to objective evidence, but to their feelings to justify the act. Although the police officer may not realise their applied subjective reasoning, their actions show their style of reasoning through emotions is similar to that of contemporary Feminists. Another example is the U.S. government’s decision to bail out Wallstreet. Instead of administering the law, our government “felt” that the bailout was needed or our entire economy would collapse. Yet, there was no evidence to support that feeling, but there was ample evidence of Wallstreet’s corruption and many lives destroyed as a result of that greed.

The United States is not the only country suffering the perils of subjective reasoning and the destruction left in its wake. My new home Spain, and many other countries, are suffering grave injustices that are rationalised by using subjective reasoning as well. With history as our teacher, we human beings should be able to learn from our mistakes. Unfortunately what history shows us, is that subjective reasoning in conjunction with Dualism is the root of all ‘good’ and ‘evil’, and a cause of suffering and despair. And when contemporary Feminism and Feminists, cease to utilise a value-based ways of thinking of men and women  in conjunction with subjective reasoning, they will no longer be one of the causes of despair and suffering. When human beings cease to utilise labels and apply a value to everyone and everything, we will no longer be a cause of our own despair and suffering.

I am not a Feminist. I am not a proponent of Feminism. I’ll share a quote from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, slightly modified in non-sexual and non-dualistic terms:

“Ism’s, in my opinion, are illogical. One should not believe in an ‘ism,’ one should simply believe in oneself.”

The Label Trap

As some of you may be aware I recently moved to Madrid Spain at the beginning of April. And you may have presumed that I would be writing about the experiences of living here. In a way I will be…but I am not going to discuss Spanish food, culture, and the various everyday experiences one has in living day-to-day life. That’s what Facebook and other social media platforms are for. There are many wonderful books available as well as the experience of moving to Spain itself to be had. Instead, I will begin this new chapter in my life’s story by discussing The Label Trap and sharing my responses to a recent Hyperallergic article titled: What Happens When a Feminist Artist Interviews a Pickup ArtistI’ll begin with The Label Trap.

What is The Label Trap?

The Label Trap is the trap we create for ourselves and others with the application of any word label given to oneself and or others which restricts/confines/delineates and is used by oneself and others to create a false sense of identity. Some of these labels are ‘good’ and some are ‘bad’, although I do not believe in either ‘good’ or ‘bad’, but all foster misunderstanding, fear and suffering with oneself and in others. The methodology of the trap manifests itself in stereotyping, bigotry, and other false positives. We can see the detriment of labels in how insidiously it imposes itself in the aforementioned Hyperallergic article and that detriment is boldly declared in its title. And what we see are two false positives, a being who identifies with a feminine sexuality and set of feminized beliefs and a being who identifies with a masculine sexuality and masculinised belief system. Both of whom are neither, but perceive themselves to be so. By examining Roosh V and Angela Washko’s true natures, as an example of other beings who are also subject to such a falsity in understanding their true selves and nature, we may come to understand that what both are doing has nothing to do with sexuality. Their words and actions have everything to do with being, a desire to justify their learned and biological emotional responses, an unwillingness to address their true selves and the resultant feelings of inadequacy, loneliness and suffering. We create the ties that bind us, cinching them tighter and tighter, believing that in doing so we will be free.

If you are not familiar with Roosh V or skipped reading the Hyperallergic article, I suggest you take a moment to go back and read it. Otherwise, whatever you read beyond this point may make no sense to you.

What Happens When a Feminist Artist Interviews a Pickup Artist.

After reading the article I composed this response speaking to Angelo Washko who self-identifies herself as ‘female’, ‘artist’ and ‘feminist’:

Girl, your project failed because you fell for his psychology which played upon your female emotional response. Do you think Roosh V cares about your feelings, respects who you are as a person and your views of the world? He does not.

By his own admission he says he is not emotionally invested in his own arguments but clearly he is. You said, ¨he told me that he didn’t like the tabloid/sensationalised element of it and that it was disconcerting that women would publicly share the details of the sexual experiences they had with him.¨ He banked on you sympathising with him (which is what women do and why so many women will forgive a man for cheating on them or abusing them) and then employed social group psychology using his loyal group of yes-men and followers to make you feel as though you should abandon your project. Simply put, he used your feelings against you to protect his interests.

What about your interests?

I guess your project really doesn´t mean all that much to you.

You say, ¨I was not psyched about the conversations within the forum centered around whether or not forum participants would bang me.¨

So what if his yes-men and followers objectify you as a sexual object. You´re going to let THAT stop you? I´m not a Feminist and I too laugh (as I´m sure he and all his little groupies are) at how easy it was to throw you off your game. I thought Feminists were all about opposing the view that they are weak and helpless? Your decision to abandon the project instead of work through the challenges perpetuates that way of thinking.

My advice: Stop being emotional. Look at your project and reconsider your approach objectively and get back in the saddle. And most importantly, objectify the f*ck out of him and sally forth.

The response to my comment included applying the word labels of “narcissist” to Roosh V and his response to Angela Washko as “gas lighting”. My response:

I too am bothered by how often the Angela apologizes, it reiterates a tone of victimhood, throughout the article. She claims moral superiority over Roosh V because she was just a nice somewhat naive girl trying to see and appreciate who he is as a person hoping that he would understand her art project and give her the names of women he slept with so she could show what a terrible human being he is. How could she have known that that he would ‘manipulate’ the situation and ‘attack’ her? Puh-leeze.

Why did she do this interview? What is the point of this article?

The point of the article is to shame Rooch V for not fulfilling AW expectations and participating in her so-called art project. And to exonerate herself for abandoning it. And why did she think he would participate? Because she was nicer to him than other Feminists who stalk him and want to show the world what a terrible person he is?

This is the problem I have with modern Feminism. Their woe-is-me attitude and claims of moral superiority over others. That claim to moral superiority merely serves to foster an Us vs. Them mentality, which only causes more ignorance, misunderstanding and suffering. Modern Feminism is as ‘bad’, if not more so, than the male sexism they proclaim is oppressing women. Feminism’s sexist attitude and actions are equally as sexist, towards men, and just as morally reprehensible.

If you don’t want to be a victim, don’t be a victim.

Another comment addresses Roosh V’s use of censorship in his forum:

“What interests me most about this article is the claim that Rooosh likes to censor opinions be does not agree with and that his regular forum members gene to get dirty and personal on attacks.

Having read some comments on his blog, I would not be surprised. Some were certainly extreme and misogynistic.

What I find most interesting is that’s this is a mirror image of some extreme feminist blogs and commentators like Mary Sue and Jessica Valenti.

Quick to censor opposing conditions, quick personal attacks and misandrist statements. (Got kicked off Mary Sue for merely noting that men are statistically more at risk of attacks from strangers)

Kind of reminds me of the Israel Palestine conflict where both sides do horrible things and then calls the other side monsters.” ~douglass44

To which I respond:

One must take care in fighting monsters, lest ye become one.

The censorship piece is, to me, utterly dull. It is the least interesting thing about Roosh V, utterly typical and illogical. Censorship is a fear-based reaction which goes hand-in-hand with power and control. There isn’t a group or individual that doesn’t do it to one degree or another. You have extreme examples of censorship like North Korea and milder ones such as hiding a post another person has shared on one’s Facebook wall. As individuals we censor and restrict ourselves constantly by saying things like, “I’m the kind of person who (insert descriptive limitation here).” or “I’m a (insert word label here). We censor and restrict ourselves to justify what we do and say.

Roosh V uses his tactical approach to sleep with women, his teachings, and forum, to gather followers and justify his existence before discovering game. The creation of a tactical approach and study of the psychology of women is a base and narrow way of interacting with women. Roosh V does not truly understand women or try to understand even one because he only seems to consider one aspect of what he can get from them, his own sexual satisfaction. He may have discovered that in order to have sex with women he needs to understand how to sexually satisfy her, or not, which may or may not be why he didn’t want AW to interview his past or present sexual conquests.

Roosh V’s books teach other men this tactical strategy of ‘dealing’ with women with what he calls ‘game’. One will most likely find that Roosh V and all his followers are all the same. They all have no inkling of how to interact with women, are sexually frustrated led by their biological impulses, and lonely. His followers follow because his methodology does work but it will never achieve that which Roosh V truly wants, to have a women in his life, his sexual needs fulfilled and to not be alone. Everything Roosh V does is to justify his resentment of his so-called former self (the one that could not get sex or have a relationship with women), his biologically-driven sexual needs, and his methodology with women.

Roosh V’s ‘church’ of followers, their misogyny in the forum, and the censorship aspect are typical of and unsurprising for any fixed way of thinking. Roosh is the ‘Pan’ of his group and he takes a very typical leadership approach to it. Encourage those who are more extreme than he to control and bind them to him while censoring any dissension to prevent subversion. Will he allow himself to meet a Wendy? With his current attitude towards women, absolutely not.

Nothing that Roosh V is doing is new or innovative. He’s taking the same approach that many groups have in dehumanizing and objectifying what he doesn’t understand. Does this make him a terrible person? No, he is simply a more articulate representative of hierarchical, close-minded and self-serving ways of “thinking”, of “socializing” and, in “understanding” others. No one can break the chains that one binds oneself with, other than oneself. Thus, nothing that Feminists say or do will have any effect other than to further ingrain Roosh V’s and his followers’ resentment and methodology in his so-called relationships with women. Conversely, Feminists are equally at fault because they are doing the same exact thing to men and binding themselves with the same chains..

To strive for a truly free and democratic society is to support the free expression of oneself without expectation and negative recourse. To be a member of a truly free and democratic society one must have compassion, understanding and acceptance. To be compassionate is to care about others. To understand is to be open-minded and love. Acceptance is the stepping stone to logical discourse to discover how two opposing or different expressions of self and group can coexist peacefully.

Another comment, in response to this, by one who identifies as ezra.jones says:

“I agree with everything that you said except this:

His followers follow because his methodology does work but it will never achieve that which Roosh V truly wants, to have a women in his life

“Roosh does not want “a women in his life”. He wants some sort of neurotic/erotic fantasy in intermittent moments of his life. I can bet you any woman that’s slept with a man like him wakes up in the morning to a totally different person who wants nothing to do with her at all; and probably who goes so far as to hate her even. He’s easily a narcissist and definitely lacking emotional skill at all levels. To be honest, he’d probably be happier just ****ing himself.”

My response:

“He wants some sort of neurotic/erotic fantasy in intermittent moments of his life.”

I agree with this in that Roosh V is conflicted in what he wants and needs. He wants emotionally fulfilling relationships with both men and women which he does so with ‘game’. The game he plays is with both men and women. What is ‘game’? It’s a psychological analysis of others to understand what behaviors are required to connect with others in a way that achieves specific goals. With women, he analyzes them and uses specific tactics and behaviors that he has learned appeal to women sexually and emotionally: tells amusing stories, uses certain words and mannerisms to be charming, etc. With men, he shares his methodology and results to garner their admiration. He teaches to gain their loyalty. Because he relates to men and women driven by these goals, realized or not, his interactions with others will always be neurotic, fictional and one-dimensional. Roosh V is his own puppet.

When one relates to others in one-dimensional ways one will always feel alone. Roosh B has mentioned in his other writings how much energy it takes utilize ‘game’. This is indicative of the fact that he on some level realizes that ‘game’ is not a genuine and truthful connection; In the way that people who perform interact with an audience. Only showing aspects of one’s true self and a fictional being altogether. When two people truly connect there is an exchange of energy. Some people give more, some take more, and with some we find a balance and equality. Roosh V expends a lot of energy to have sex with many different women to fulfill his physical biological needs. He maintains long-term sex partners because he truly desires an emotionally fulfilling relationship. Women’s physical biology tends more to emotions, thus women usually need an emotional connection in order to facilitate a sexual one. And ‘game’ is about connecting with women on an emotional level so as to access them sexually. The tools of ‘game’ are just that, so using ‘game’ is and will become a burden to those who play due to the imbalance of energy expended to do so, and eventually one will tire of of the sport and playing it.

To balance this equation, women are just as guilty of using ‘game’ and also subject to unfulfilling one-dimensional relationships. I think this goes without question. Women use various tactics to fulfill their emotional and sexual needs: emotional manipulation, timing, the ways they dress, and tailoring their behavior to meet expectations. But beyond the sexual needs of men and women is a desire in each of us to connect emotionally and physically with others which transcends being man or woman. So why do we play games? We -think- it will facilitate a genuine, meaningful and fulfilling connections with others. But the simple truth is ‘game’ takes one farther away from having those fostering fleeting moments of positive self-worth, despair, and loneliness. To have truly fulfilling, genuine and meaningful relationships with others, one must have that with one-self. One must ‘Love thyself’.

“I can bet you any woman that’s slept with a man like him wakes up in the morning to a totally different person who wants nothing to do with her at all; and probably who go so far as to hate her.”

Of course. And if one is not secure and loving of oneself, one may also take on another’s neurosis. Some of the women Roosh V has had so-called relationships have probably had the experience you suggested. They wake up to a different person (the real one that is not as charming and sweet as presented), they recognize his hate (which is really his own self-loathing) and disregard of her (he’s done playing the game) internalizing it, supplanting his opinion of her for her own. This is why it is absolutely imperative that one does not base or place all of one’s self-worth in other’s hands.

One could say that what men and women do are ‘bad’ when they utilize ‘game’ but that is not so. It is only as ‘bad’ as the one who utilizes it is in conflict with oneself. Meaning, that if Roosh V truly felt that ‘game’ was The Way he would not feel the imbalance in energy expenditure nor would he resort to attacking others that disagree with his point of view. That defensive reaction is a reflex to defend that which he knows on some level is in conflict with who he truly is. Is it then also ‘bad’ to value oneself only through external measures of validation? Again, only if it is true and without conflict with one’s true self. If the feelings of conflict arise then I can only say, perhaps.

Let’s look to Nature as our teacher:

A tree, a blade of grass, a stone lying on the bed of a river stream, the deer and fox….flora, fauna and all that is does not “try” “to be” anything other than what it is. It is only ‘human nature’ to wonder, then question and be in conflict with one’s true self.

As for your opinion, “He’s easily a narcissist and definitely lacking emotional skill at all levels. To be honest, he’d probably be happier just ****ing himself.”, maybe and maybe not. Who are you and I to judge the actions and words of another. Analysis, understanding, and being true to oneself without harming others is, in my opinion, a much better way to be. Although admittedly, what some perceive as harm is nothing more than their reaction to a truth they would rather not face. Many dead philosophers much wiser than I have all agreed. They would also agree that Feminists should focus less on what others are doing and more on what they are doing to themselves and others. You can’t control what others do, only what you do. Hence my reiteration of Nietzsche’s words in a previous response. Here is the quote in full:

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”

Alas! My conclusion of word labels, their application and utilisation, and effects…The Label Trap

The mind can only perceive that which it is able to comprehend.

2013 DOC Spring Banquet

20130511-041059.jpg

2013 DOC Spring Banquet
At Moosilauke Ravine Lodge
On May 9th, 6:30-9pm

An honor and a pleasure to be invited and included in this gathering. Many people seem surprised when they discover I am a volunteer and did not attend Dartmouth College. I attended Lebanon High School located ‘next door’, Class of ’95 and Keene State College, Class of ’99. I was the Vice President of the Environmental Outing Club at Keene State for a couple semesters. Although, it was my upbringing on a NH farm, a walk with my grandfather to the family corner property lines when I was in elementary school, and my mother’s expectation that after school my brother and I were to go outside and play that most influenced my love of outdoor activities and nature. I also have a deep and abiding love of reading, studying history, and I am fascinated by tradition. My three favorite books are The History of Hanover, NH and Dartmouth College up to 1815, The First 75 Years of the Dartmouth Outing Club and the double compilation of Walden and Civil Disobedience.

This program and why I put so much care into is not about me or for me.  I’m returning a favor to the universe.  My ultimate mission is to see students take ownership of this program.  To see students discussing the Boundary and Corridor.  To see students engaging local community, recruiting new volunteers and educating themselves and others.  My ardent desire is for students to become stewards of the land, the trails and the history of this Upper Valley region that has, is and will profoundly effect their lives.   I’m merely laying the groundwork.  I’m simply an intermediary for greater things yet to come.

This image is a detail shot of a bandana presented to me at this banquet for my volunteer service as the DOC’s Appalachian Trail Monitor Coordinator these past three years. I feel humbled by the recognition and appreciate the gift. I’m looking forward to the rest of year three, four and five of my voluntary commitment in managing the AT Stewardship program.


Nichole Hastings
Appalachian Trail Monitor Coordinator
Dartmouth Outing Club
Robinson Hall, Dartmouth College
Hanover, NH 03755
Email: doc.at.corridormonitors@gmail.com
DOC AT Boundary Program Schedule: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~doc/appalachiantrail/
Twitter ID: @DartmouthOuting

7.15.12

The Sailor Senshi as seen in the anime. Top ro...

It begins with a poem…

7.15.12

An Ode to the Universe
AKA The Day of My Birth Revisited 35 Years Later

O glorious day of my Start Begin!
How grateful I am to you
for penciling me into your schedule!
You had a lot going on that day.
And yet…
you made the time for me.

I look at star charts and read my horoscope
but I can only guess the planetary positions
and the aspects in the sky.
I don’t know the hour of my birth.
I don’t know what your plans were and are for me.
(That’s okay! I do like surprises!)

And in fact,
I may not have been born this day
so many years ago.
That’s okay too! (I do like a tantalizing mystery!)
I have no official birth certificate to verify me.
Which suits me, the Lorax and the trees!

Adopted. Check.
Naturalized. Check.
My Port of Entry? Denver Colorado.
My ship arrived by Air not Water.
I was given a change of scenery.
From city to country.

My earliest memories of Earth
are a cookie-cutter neighborhood.
Each house and driveway the same…
The same…
The same…
The same.

I recall
the vast Colorado plain
stretching under a wide open skyscape.
Those distant Rocky mountains on the horizon
calling to me.
I can still see them so clearly in my mind’s eye.

Would I be the same person I am today?
Would I in Seoul?
Maybe ‘yes’ and maybe ‘no’.
That old Nature vs. Nurture argument…
how it makes me laugh.
Some say, “We’ll never know.”

I know.
I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
I wouldn’t have done the things I’ve done.
Or seen what I have seen.
Learned what I have learned.
Be who I am Now.

So thank you.
And thank you.
I thank you.
Thank!
You!
My eternal thanks to you.

By Nichole Hastings

—begin psycho-analysis—

Seoul 0 South Korea 07/15/1977 12:00 – Julian day 2443339.67
Adjust -8.00 ST 7.59 Lat 37.38 Long -127.00

Zodiac in degrees 0.00
Time unknown

Sun Cancer 22.34
Moon Cancer 9.08
Mercury Leo 8.47
Venus Gemini 9.13
Mars Taurus 28.17
Jupiter Gemini 22.54
Saturn Leo 16.45
Uranus Scorpio 7.41 R
Neptune Sagittarius 13.48 R
Pluto Libra 11.35
Lilith Gemini 9.15
Asc node Libra 19.22

This birth chart shows the positions of the planets

The planets in the signs

The position of the planets in the signs of the Zodiac has an influence on the character of the individual and these influences form a large part of the individual psyche.

Sun in Cancer

She weighs words carefully and is tenacious. A calm and discreet nature, tender, thoughtful, sensitive and impressionable. She likes group life.

Weaknesses: She is humble, timid, changeable, indecisive, lazy, over-sensitive and prickly. Easily influenced by the family.

Moon in Cancer

She is likeable and sociable. Very sensitive to environmental conditions and surroundings. She likes home, habits, comfort and her little world. Large families.

Weaknesses: subject to family circle, indolence, inertia. She is impressionable and too sensitive. Family problems.

Mercury in Leo

Ambitious, sincere, loyal, friendly and full of good cheer. Great sense of organization. Likes children and leisure time.

Weaknesses: likes to play games too much and can go too far, in spite of herself. Likes to play-act and do about-turns, which surprise and upset those concerned. Likes to take risks in jest and for amusement.

Venus in Gemini

Gift of the gab“, always finds the right expression. A good talker, refined, with a love of the Arts. Two-sided in emotional affairs, flirtatious. Superficial emotions. Countless and inconstant love affairs. Likes to play love games.

Weaknesses: Instability and fickleness in love. Often goes too far in love because of the desire to flirt and play on the other person, who will often suffer – but that is not her problem. Inconstant in love, which is ephemeral: she is unfaithful and can sometimes speak caustically.

Mars in Taurus

She is a choleric type, loud-mouthed. She is masterful, dominates and imposes herself forcefully. She carries on to the end of a goal, achieves it and undertakes another action with the same strong will and enthusiasm.

Weaknesses: she is tenacious and stubborn. The rages, which are usually restricted to words, are frightening.

Jupiter in Gemini

Very good education, she is also a good talker. She likes to travel, to write, to increase her knowledge.

Weaknesses: likes to puff herself up with grandiose speeches or fine words. Does not listen to others but likes to be listened to.

Saturn in Leo

In a position of authority, she likes responsibilities and assumes them. She receives favours from patrons, who recognize her merits or similarly receives honors in return for well-accomplished tasks.

Weaknesses: abuse of power, little feeling in the workplace.

Uranus in Scorpio

Intelligent and subtle. Adores research, inquiry, investigation. Very sensual.

Neptune in Sagittarius

Likes long voyages, things foreign, water.

Pluto in Libra

Brings changes.

Interplanetary aspects

The interplanetary aspects have a strong influence on the character and disposition of the individual and, consequently, on her destiny.

The conjunction aspect is variable and depends above all on the nature of the conjoint planets.

268 Sextile Mercury – Venus

She looks on the bright side of life: she is gay, agreeable, optimistic, sociable. She likes to speak and write, and does both with charm and artistry. Her intellectual pleasures are influenced by her feelings. She is amorous and sensual. She likes beauty, the Arts but also travelling.

147 Trine Moon – Uranus

She is imaginative and has the Moon’s intuition complemented by Uranus’ independence and originality. Her life is out-of-the-ordinary, with lots of changes and a great knowledge of the world not through reading but through personal experience. She likes the sensational, new things. She acts instinctively, but fortunately has a good sixth sense. She likes to be surrounded by original people, artists.

-90 Square Mercury – Uranus

She likes polemic, to criticize and, above all, to contradict. She lacks diplomacy and tends to dissipate her energy. She cannot stay in the same place, likes change even if it means a backward step in her professional career.

-89 Square Moon – Pluto

She has problems in love. She is jealous, her self-esteem is often quickly held up to ridicule.

-88 Opposition Venus – Neptune

She lacks self-confidence and her ideals are not easy to achieve. In love, she is unstable, unfaithful and deceitful. She is easy-going and follows others, she does not take the initiative.

69 Conjunction Mercury – Saturn

56 Trine Venus – Pluto

Her emotional and sex life is powerful and rich. She lives out truly passionate love affairs.

54 Sextile Mercury – Pluto

She has a great sense of observation and quickly grasps the situation. She is crafty, subtle and critical.

37 Trine Mercury – Neptune

She can put down in writing everything that her imagination and intuition dictates.

27 Trine Saturn – Neptune

Her plans are realized in a methodical fashion, she works hard to achieve success.

27 Sextile Neptune – Pluto

Aspects
Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Moon Trine Uranus 4.36 77
Mercury Sextile Venus 0.47 241
Mercury Conjunction Saturn 8.48 40
Mercury Square Uranus 0.12 -106
Mercury Trine Neptune 5.56 26
Mercury Sextile Pluto 3.42 14
Venus Opposition Neptune 5.09 -77
Venus Trine Pluto 2.55 51
Jupiter Opposition Neptune 8.58 -0
Saturn Trine Neptune 2.52 27
Neptune Sextile Pluto 2.14 26
502 -183 319

Signs masculine 6
Signs of fire 3
Signs feminine 4
Signs of earth 1
Signs cardinal. 3
Signs of air 3
Signs fixed 4
Signs of water 3
Signs mutable 3

Chiron Taurus 5.29
Ceres Libra 9.56
Pallas Virgo 13.05
Juno Scorpio 14.51
Vesta Leo 24.18
Fortune Aries 0.00
South node Aries 0.00

—end psycho-analysis—

My conclusion: Your conclusion of the analysis above, which may or may not be True, is not necessary to or an accurate account of my current state of being.

Your conclusion: My conclusion of the above analysis, which may or may not be True, is not necessary to or an accurate account of your current state of being.

Our conclusion: This analysis, which may or may not be true, is not necessary or an accurate account of our current states of being.

Journal Entry: May 20, 2011

THE DEFINITION OF TRUTH



Truth is the cry of all, but the game of few.
~George Berkeley


There are several options here for you to choose from

(you may select one or more of the following):

  1. The true or actual state of a matter: He tried to find out the truth.

  2. Conformity with fact or reality; verity: the truth of a statement.

  3. A verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like: mathematical truths.

  4. The state or character of being true.

  5. Actuality or actual existence.

  6. An obvious or accepted fact; truism; platitude.

  7. Honesty; integrity; truthfulness.

  8. (often initial capital letter ) Ideal or fundamental reality apart from and transcending perceived experience: the basic truths of life.

  9. Agreement with a standard or original.

  10. Accuracy, as of position or adjustment.

  11. Archaic . fidelity or constancy.


    “It’s all relative to your perspective;
    for perception defines one’s reality.
    The Truth will set you free.
    Live free.”

Hong

“This was the surname of my biological parents.”

From Wikipedia, the free dictionary

As with all Korean family names, the holders of the Hong surname are divided into different patrilineal clans, or lineages, based on their ancestral seat. Most such clans trace their lineage back to a specific founder. This system was at its height under the yangban aristocracy of the Joseon Dynasty, but it remains in use today.

Read More at Wikipedia…