Sure, I look like a sweet
submissive little Asian hottie
whose only desires are
to honor your every wish,
serve your every need,
and be your knee-high-socks
schoolgirl-uniform-wearing
sexual plaything
like in that porno you watched
the other night.

But on the inside
I’m a cantankerous 80-year old man
who knows waaaaaay more about
anything and everything than you,
doesn’t like being told how when or what to do,
and will tell you where to go stick it
while yelling at you to
“Get off my lawn!”
“Learn from your mistakes!”
as I spray you with the hose.

@nicholehastings