To Online Date or Not?

A few days ago a friend and I were having lunch and I mentioned my relationship woes to her. At that lunch, she suggested I do some visioning and write down the qualities and type of person I desire and seek in a romantic relationship. I have been dating three Scorpios off and on over the last three years and I ended the last of the three unhealthy relationships three days ago.

I look back now at these experiences with these individuals and laugh at the absurdity. Their physical ages range from 36 to 43 and yet they were all emotionally aged 12. I matured at age 9 when my single divorced mother decided I was old enough to take care of my younger brother after school and stopped sending us to a babysitter. I think you can see the dilemma this raises in finding a worthy mate and the discrepancy in life experiences already.

Well meaning friends suggest online dating. I am loath to do so. And once again that suggestion came up while gathered with four awesome women at an intimate moving away party. The one moving away has a boyfriend but all of us are essentially awesome single ladies and we shared an intense conversation I shall remember for a very long time.

I’ve been online since 1995 using social networking in some of its earliest manifestations. My handle was ‘Vamp’ on ISCA out of Iowa State University. I never once considered online dating. I still maintain a handful of friendships of folks I’ve never met in person. The few people I did meet from ISCA all mistakenly assumed that I had some romantic interest in wanting to meet them IRL. Which I of course corrected.

I shared my reason for not doing online dating with the group last night. The reason is: I don’t think the man for me is sitting at a computer doing online dating. I also verbalized that I thought this way of thinking is holding me back from the possibilities that might be out there. A friend said that perhaps that guy also didn’t believe in online dating but decided to give it a try.

Earlier today I posted on Twitter, which then feeds into my Facebook, this statement:

And received this response from one of those friends I’ve never met in person but have known now for 19 years:


Somehow that ‘A-ha!’ moment manifested and finally my vision for the relationship and kind of person I want to have that intimate love relationship with was realized. I wrote back:


And last but not least (for me), this very important detail:


So I guess I’m not looking for a man. I’m looking for a gentleman hero who also wants to live life in epic proportions. You might be thinking, “This girl has got some crazy expectations that will never be met!”

And you may be right. They may never be. I may be alone for the rest of my life to my dying day. But never lonely…and always always always in the best of my own good company!

So the burning question is, will I enter the online dating arena?

Well, haven’t I already with this post?

I don’t presume to think that so many people are reading my blog but if you are and know a single awesome gentleman hero who fits the rest of my bill, please direct them to me and let them know that in gaining my attention I say “Fortune favors the bold.”

Vermont Volunteerism: Tropical Storm Irene Clean-up and Aid


[UPDATED 9/7/2011 @10am]

Please go here to the Vermont Volunteerism Facebook Page for more info and to contribute information.  Thank you


[UPDATED 9/4/2011 @10pm]

Please go here to see the updated information.

[UPDATED 9/3/2011 @6pm]
West Hartford Village Store

  • 10am on SUNDAY 9/4 – general volunteers 18 years and older
  • Please bring boots/gloves/rakes/shovels/dust masks
Here is a list of what they need:
Rubber work gloves, Rubber boots, Face masks, Cleaning supplies, Dry cardboard boxes, Paper towels, Heavy duty garbage bags, Newspaper, 5 gallon buckets

*Structural Engineer found!

*Currently working on setting up a donation fund specifically for the Village Store, Hartford Sign Company and Randy Hart for their support of the Appalachian Trail. TBA.

*And all mail is being diverted from West Hartford to Hartford. If A.T. thru-hikers are expecting packages at that post office they will not be there. Please ask them and share this information if you know a thru-hiker heading South or going North coming from Woodstock.

*Please Note the Green Mountain National Forest is temporarily CLOSED.
This means the Appalachian Trail through Vermont is CLOSED to hiking.
Here is a link to get updates on this closure:

PLEASE NOTE: No work will be done on Sunday 9/4.

Journey Church

  • is past the SoRo high school on the right in a green building
  • donations may be brought there

Here is a list of what they need:
NEW adult underwear, anything to do with Dentures, First aid items, Toilet paper, Batteries, Hammers, Crow bars, Mauls, Sledge hammers, Snow or grain flat shovels, Axes, Fans, Dehumidifiers, Coffee, Sugar, Flour

*They have to share: A LOT of dog and cat food

Vermont Law School

  • Jenny Jones is coordinating in the Hoff Building
  • Looking for clothing donations – mainly undergarments
  • please call Melissa Kumar at (603)667-3836 to leave name&number
  • please DO NOT drop off items yet, NO STORAGE prepared. Thanks!

*Cash Donations can go to the Randolph National Bank, the South Royalton Town Offices.

Here is a link with more information:

  • 10am on SUNDAY 9/4 and Monday 9/5 – Looking for general volunteers
  • meet at the Hartford Municipal Building
  • Please bring boots/gloves/rakes/shovels/dust masks
  • Please do not bring children under 18-yo

Here is a list of what they need:
Rubber work gloves, Rubber boots, Face masks, Cleaning supplies, Dry cardboard boxes, Paper towels, Heavy duty garbage bags, Newspaper, 5 gallon buckets

*Structural Engineers found!

Want to make a General Cash Donation to the Town of Hartford? Please send money to:

WRJ Rotary Club
P.O. Box 4003
White River Junction, VT 05000

*also any Mascoma Savings Bank and the Hotel Coolidge will accept money donations



Bread & Puppet will perform a volunteer appreciation show Sunday night at 6PM at the Lyman Point Park, White River Junction, VT! Rain or Shine.  Rain and Shine. Refreshments available. Bring your lawn chairs

Helping in SHARON:
Please check out their town website. The right column, ‘NEWS’ contains a lot of great information on road closures and updates, how to volunteer there, and links to sites for assistance.

Here is a list of items needed:
Fans, dehumiifiers (probably more…call them!)

TO VOLUNTEER please call (802)763-8268 ext. 4 or see the facebook page Sharon Vermont Volunteer Relief Effort.

Helping in BETHEL:
Folks in Bethel are also needing help. Please contact the town of Bethel or someone you know who lives there to find out what they need and how you can help.
1. Vermont Land Use Clinic/Insurance and FEMA Assistance Clinic
Vermont Law School Volunteers will help members of the
communty file insurance and FEMA claims. Go to this link to find
out more:

Other Disaster Relief Questions can be directed to Rep. Sarah Buxton at: or(802)763-0777

You can also call 211 for damage assessments to homes.

For updates on this information you may view the Hanover Area Friends of the A.T. facebook page event at:
Thank you!

Best Regards,

Nichole Hastings

Appalachian Trail Monitor Coordinator
Dartmouth Outing Club
Robinson Hall, Dartmouth College
Hanover, NH 03755
Boundary Program Schedule:
P.O. Box 1143
Norwich, VT 05055-1143 

‘The Truth Will Set You Free’ Blog:

Twitter ID: @nicholehastings @DartmouthOuting @HFoAT

“We can never have enough nature.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Journal Entry: June 9, 2010 – 100 Mile Wilderness

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Day 11

Climbed four mountains today.  Started with Columbus Mountain, Third Mountain, Fourth Mountain and then Barren Mountain.  Also discovered why I’ve been struggling the past few days.  It’s tough, being female.  To have to unwillingly submit to such an inconvenience every month.  And no wonder why I’ve been craving iron.  All the beef jerky is gone.  The amount of energy I am burning, the dwindling amounts of protein and iron in my diet explains why I almost passed out a few days ago.

I put in a good day today.  The only real difficulty were my feet.  The pain became noticeable  after nine miles or so.  Especially my right foot, the ball and toes.  They alternated between pain and numbness.  The trail was rocky, ridged with ups and downs that at times seemed endless.  Just when I thought, ‘This must be the last one,’ I would see another up ahead to traverse.

It begins with a ‘random’ thought entering my mind.  Why do I need a man to be a mother?  Well, other than for the obvious.  There are many creatures on this planet with only one parent raising the young.  I remembered a study I had read saying that currently forty percent of  human mothers are single moms.  Perhaps women should re-think their desire and expectations of men.  Or perhaps Society and Culture should stop dictating and perpetuating these rigid expectations which people cannot meet.  The resulting disappointment would be unnecessary.  It’d be pointless actually.  Maybe women, no people, should pay more attention to understanding who they are, the cause and effect of their actions, and ponder the dynamics and priorities of this world which we exist in.  Defy any and all expectations.  If it can be imagined, live it, then it will manifest and be so.

Other ‘random’ thoughts.  How interesting that my ex-husband describes himself as ‘widowed’ on his Facebook profile.  Such a tragic expression of anguish for his actions that precipitated my flight from him.  I wonder if he is still alive.  I hope for he is.  And that life is really truly good for him.  I hope for him to have a realization and to stop asking, “Why did you leave me?”  Each time I hear that question, my stomach churns and my heart breaks.  Because he knows.  Yet, he cannot see, his fear of acceptance and by giving in to those insecurities, how it’s destroyed the beauty we once discovered and shared.  Like a small child pulling the legs off, one-by-one, of Daddy Long Leg spiders.

I wonder if I am capable of having children.  There were so many opportunities, years spent trying but to no avail.  I wonder at the twisty-turny path that has brought me here to this very moment in time.  Will I hike the entire Appalachian Trail and still not find what I’m looking for?  Knowledge?  Adventure?  Philosophy?  As the man on the Hunt Trail suggested.  An escape?  A tragic death?  I walk in wonder…

I feel very happy here.  Each morning I awake and life simply begins.  Each day is filled with purpose and discovery on a winding path with an uncertain future around each bend in the trail.  It’s sheer bliss, Heaven really, when I reach a lean-to and no one is there.  I feel relief and glee.  I have the entire moment to myself to do what I want to do and in whatever way I want to.  The first thing I did when I reached the Long Pond Lean-to was to take all my sweaty, dirty clothing off.  I bathed nude in the cold stream trickling nearby then air-dried by a fire built by my own hand.  I spent an hour or more grooming.  Admittedly, one of my favorite activities.  This solitude, in the wilderness, has been one of the most relaxing and enjoyable times in my life that I can recall.

I looked at my maps trying to discern if I will make it into Monson for my first mail drop tomorrow.  The town is listed as two miles off the trail.  The post office probably closes at 4 p.m.  I think I could make it but it would be late and I would have to stay in town.  I’m not keen on that.  The hostel is twelve dollars and the alternative is to hike back to the trail and tent before dark instead.

I’m very very low on food.  I think I have enough to make it to the next lean-to, stay the night and then into town the following day.  My plan is exacting and precise, but, I like it.

Distance: about 11-miles

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