Journal Entry: July 10 2010 – On Forgiveness

I received a message yesterday from a person I thought I would never speak to again in my life. A person who, for years, I have refused to speak to, yet now I ask myself, “Why not?” For when I think about all the years I refused to talk to this person, I realized it was not my voice saying, ‘no’ but another’s.
This person has wronged me. And more than just wronged me, they have wronged others and in doing so wronged themselves. It is that realization that has made me decide to communicate with them.
This communication does not mean I forgave them, am still not hurt, and will not speak angrily or harshly to them. It simply means that I’ll acknowledge their existence on this planet. And there is nothing harsher than the denial of one’s existence.
A lesson that errant lying police officer has yet to learn. The one who’s name is not even worth mentioning because he is of no important significance in this world at the moment. Just another pesky mosquito to brush aside and keep stridently ahead of…and as we all know mosquitos are vampires, suckers, little leeches spreading unhappiness and sometimes disease. And they only strike, they can only latch on, when you’ve come to a still.
So I move ever forward, one foot in front of the other, because you can’t turn back time…but you can learn from past mistakes. A lesson, it saddens me too say, some will never learn. ~Nichole Hastings

4 thoughts on “Journal Entry: July 10 2010 – On Forgiveness

  1. i take it that u r talking about me i think.i have alot to say to u and the truth is the only thing i say now because there is no reson to lie if u want to talk to me than lets talk and clear the air.but frist i want to make sure u no who you are talking to.thank you.hope to hear from u soon.


    • I am well aware of who you are.

      You speak of ‘clearing the air’…but there is nothing on my end to clear.
      Events occurred, the past is unalterable, what more is there to say about it?

      You said ‘if u want to talk to me than let’s clear the air’ but the fact of it is, I have made no attempt to contact you all these years, yet, you contacted me.

      It’s you, who would like to speak to me.
      It’s you, who would like to clear the air.
      It’s you, who has something to say, not vice-versa.
      And you have initiated doing so, in a public forum.

      You have something to say? Please speak plainly, what is it you would like to say to me?

      You say ‘if u ever need anything, just call’.
      I should call you?
      I’ve needed nothing from you for 30 years.
      What you are really saying is “I need something from you, call me.”

      What are you looking for? Forgiveness?
      You appear to me to still be a ‘taker’, not a ‘giver’.

      Good day.


      • yes i do want to talk to u.i guess not to clear the air because whats in the past is in the past.forgiveness only that i was’nt there as a father to help u in hard times that u talk about in ur blog.i wish i could have been their.but i was not aloud not here to ask anything from u.and why would u think i was a taker and not a giver.u dont no me yet.but i would like u to no me some day.u only no me by words of others but not words from me.i no there is alot of anger because i read it in ur words.and im sure the anger is at me.and i expect that and except it.and for all the pain that i have caused im am very sorry.i would like to talk out of the public so tell me how.please


      • Misfortunes occur only when a man is false….
        Events, circumstances, etc., have their origin in ourselves.
        They spring from seeds which we have sown.
        – Henry David Thoreau


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